Negotiation Skills Examples: 9 Skills and How to Use Them in Real Situations

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Negotiation isn’t just for business deals and salary talks. You negotiate when you renew a lease, ask a supplier for better terms, respond to a client who wants a discount, or work out who handles which chores at home. The people who do it well usually aren’t the loudest or toughest. They prepare, listen, and look for agreements that work for both sides.

This guide breaks negotiation down into nine practical skills, each with an example of what it sounds like in a real situation. The scenarios are illustrative, and the scripts are meant as starting points, not lines to memorize.

What Good Negotiation Looks Like

Much of modern negotiation advice traces back to Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project. The book argues for “principled negotiation,” which means focusing on the problem rather than winning a contest of wills.

Its core ideas are simple:

• Separate the people from the problem.
• Focus on interests, not positions.
• Invent options for mutual gain.
• Insist on objective criteria.

It also introduced a concept every negotiator should know: your BATNA. The examples below show how these ideas work in practice.

1. Preparation

What it is: Knowing what you want, why you want it, what the other side likely wants, and what a fair outcome looks like before the conversation starts.

Example: A freelance designer’s main client wants to renew a contract. Before the call, the designer lists the hours worked last year, the results the client got, and what similar work costs in the market. They decide in advance on an ideal rate, an acceptable rate, and a walk-away point.

Try it: Write down three numbers before any negotiation: your goal, your acceptable minimum, and the point where you’d rather walk away.

2. Knowing Your BATNA

What it is: BATNA stands for Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement. The Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School describes it in plain terms: “it is what you will do if you do not reach a deal.” Your BATNA tells you whether to accept an offer and when to walk away.

Example: A small cleaning business is negotiating with a supply vendor that wants to raise prices. Before the call, the owner gets a quote from a second supplier. The alternative is a little more expensive than the current price but much cheaper than the proposed increase. Now the owner knows the real limit: any deal worse than the second quote isn’t worth taking.

Try it: Before negotiating, ask, “If this falls through, what exactly will I do?” Then make that alternative as strong and concrete as you can.

A caution from PON: a BATNA is only as strong as your understanding of it. Compare alternatives on truly equivalent terms, not just the headline price. A cheaper supplier with slower delivery or worse quality may not be the better option.

3. Focusing on Interests, Not Positions

What it is: A position is what someone says they want. An interest is why they want it. Interests usually leave more room for creative solutions.

Example: A tenant asks for a rent freeze (position). The landlord refuses (position). When they talk about interests, the tenant’s real concern is a predictable budget, and the landlord’s is keeping a reliable tenant and covering rising costs. They agree on a smaller increase in exchange for a longer lease. Both get what they actually care about.

What it sounds like: “Help me understand what’s most important to you here.” “What would make this work on your end?”

4. Active Listening

What it is: Paying full attention, asking questions, and reflecting back what you hear so the other person feels understood. People share more when they feel heard, and what they share is often the key to a deal.

Example: A client pushes back on a quote for a website project. Instead of defending the price right away, the business owner says: “It sounds like the total is higher than you budgeted for this quarter. Is that right?” The client confirms and explains the budget resets in three months. That opens the door to a phased project instead of a discount.

Try it: Summarize the other person’s view before stating your own: “So what you’re saying is…”

Listening is one of the core interpersonal skills that carry over to every kind of negotiation.

5. Anchoring With a Reasoned First Offer

What it is: The first number mentioned often shapes the rest of the conversation. A well-reasoned first offer, backed by evidence, can set a helpful starting point.

Example: A pressure washing business quotes a commercial property manager. Rather than waiting for the client to name a budget, the owner opens with a clear quote tied to the square footage, the equipment needed, and the frequency of service. The discussion then centers on that figure.

Try it: Make your opening ambitious but defensible. If you can’t explain why it’s fair, it won’t hold.

6. Using Objective Criteria

What it is: Grounding the discussion in standards both sides can accept, such as market rates, published prices, past agreements, or independent quotes. It shifts the debate from “what I want” to “what’s fair.”

Example: An employee asking for a raise brings salary data for similar roles in their area, plus a list of new responsibilities they’ve taken on. The conversation becomes about how the role compares with the market, not about personal demands.

For a full walkthrough of that situation, see the guide on how to ask for a raise.

What it sounds like: “What standard should we use to decide what’s fair here?”

7. Creating Options for Mutual Gain

What it is: Expanding the deal beyond a single issue so both sides can trade things they value differently. When only price is on the table, one side’s gain is the other’s loss.

Example: A bakery wants a lower price from a coffee roaster. The roaster can’t drop the price per pound, but it values predictable volume. They agree on a six-month commitment and larger, less frequent deliveries. The roaster saves on delivery costs and passes some of the savings back as a discount.

Variables to trade: payment timing, contract length, volume, delivery schedule, scope, warranty, referrals, and start date.

8. Managing Emotions and Staying Calm

What it is: Keeping your own reactions in check and responding to the issue, not the tone. Fisher and Ury’s advice to “separate the people from the problem” applies here: you can be firm on the issue and still be respectful to the person.

Example: A customer is upset that a job ran a day late and demands a full refund. The owner acknowledges the frustration, explains what caused the delay, and offers a partial credit on the next service. By staying calm, the owner keeps both the customer and most of the revenue.

What it sounds like: “I can see why that was frustrating. Let’s figure out what would make this right.”

Try it: If the conversation gets heated, pause. “Let me think about that and come back to you tomorrow” is a perfectly good response.

9. Knowing When and How to Say No

What it is: Declining an offer clearly without ending the relationship. Strong negotiators aren’t afraid to walk away, because they know their alternatives.

Example: A long-time client asks a bookkeeper to take on extra monthly reports at no extra cost. The bookkeeper replies: “I’d love to help with that. The additional reports would add about four hours a month, so I’d need to adjust the monthly fee. Here are two options.” The answer is a no to free work, but a yes to a better arrangement.

What it sounds like: “That doesn’t work for me, but here’s what I can do.”

Putting It Together: A Short Negotiation Example

Here’s how several skills combine in one illustrative conversation between a lawn care business owner and a homeowners’ association (HOA) asking for a 20% discount.

HOA manager: We love your work, but we need a 20% lower price to renew.

Owner (listening): Thanks for telling me. What’s driving the change?

HOA manager: Our landscaping budget was cut for next year.

Owner (interests and options): I understand. My costs for fuel and labor went up this year, so a 20% cut would mean cutting corners, and I don’t want to do that. Would it help if we moved from weekly to every ten days in the slower months? That would reduce your annual cost without changing the price per visit.

HOA manager: That could work. Can you show me the numbers?

Owner (objective criteria): Sure. I’ll send a side-by-side comparison of both schedules by Friday.

The owner protected the price per visit, met the HOA’s real interest (a lower annual cost), and kept the client.

How to Practice Negotiation Skills

• Start small. Ask for a better rate on a phone or internet plan, or negotiate a delivery date with a supplier.
• Prepare in writing. Before any negotiation, write your goal, your walk-away point, your BATNA, and the other side’s likely interests.
• Role-play. Practice with a friend or colleague, then swap sides.
• Debrief afterward. Note what worked, what you’d say differently, and what you learned about the other side’s priorities.
• Read the classics. Getting to Yes remains a clear, practical introduction.

Frequently Asked Questions